He Chose the Poison

Forgiveness should be an intellectual pursuit. That way, if you’re clever enough, you could learn it the same way as you would an equally hard discipline such as --electrochemistry. And if in fact you were lacking in facility to learn to forgive, you would at least have an excuse.



Myself, I choose to forgive because the sourness of cynicism is a poison. All manner of toxic attitudes and behaviors spread inside your spirit if when given a choice, you choose the poison.


If such a thing as a sunshine procedure did exist -- like in that one movie -- I would not choose it, as that would leave me without the necessary memories to protect myself in the future.

We should forgive but we should not forget.

Bisous!

Disordered Mercies

I was talking to my friend Murph last night about a specific situation.  I told her how I'm trying to recognize negative internal speech before it becomes a planted seed and how I need to reorder my thoughts to avoid inviting into myself undesirable dealings.  I was going down that well-worn road of "what is it about me that draws xyz ..." and Murph stopped me to recommend that I take the focus off what I attract and look at what I discern.

We will attract many divergent [things, people, experiences] in our lives because it is a necessary part of our growth process.  After all, you cannot pray the prayer of Jabez and remain sheltered.

She further asked me to evaluate my offering of what she called 'Disordered Mercies'.  My gift of mercy, she suggested, was without wisdom because I did not discern the unrelenting mercilessness in the other - and that made my offer of mercy, in that situation, disordered.  I argued that being compassionate without judgment was a good thing but was told that mercy is to be conducted on equitable terms.

Murph challenged me to evolve further; to discern greater.

I am always grateful for the cognizance of the worth of women, especially when it comes through connection with good girlfriends.

I left the conversation feeling almost glad for 2010 --  a largely lost year for me.

Give trust; extend mercies, but not without considerable discernment.

Bisous!

Freedom

I was told today - "Don't let anybody steal your joy". I hear that a lot. My thought is that no one stole my joy. I gave it. Freely. I advocate freedom. I practice my freedoms on a daily basis. I believe that lack of freedom (of all sorts) is at the core of so much dissatisfaction in the world.



The trouble with giving your joy away is that some people are so thoroughly unworthy of receiving it. Women often give joy to others outside themselves in sums that exceed what they have stored up, so that they are inevitably depleted.



I tell myself at times like these - when I'm feeling all tetchy (yeah, I said tetchy) - that I should stop giving my joy, my love, my laughter, my self away. I tell myself that it's not worth it. I try to stop. But truth is, I'm helpless.



Not being free to give of myself without being guarded and full of fear would really suck. So, I thank God that I can't stop.



Stealing is not necessary. I give freely ... but I do need to start to pray that the Lord will protect me from predators.

Be Free!



Bisous